I started dating a guy I believe is an INTJ. He appears quite stoic, serious, and sarcastic, and prefers to talk about “real” things rather than inane small talk (or not talk at all). He is a perfectionist, and can’t seem to start another project until the current one is complete. He likes tried and tested quality products and brands, so a lot of his tastes is old school. But the most striking thing about him I found was his introversion.
He is probably the most introverted person I know. I thought I had understood introversion because I had once thought I was introverted, but his behavior makes it so much clearer. If he spends time with a family member or a friend, or runs errands during the day, he must retreat from the world the rest of the day. He has a set amount of time he is able to spend socializing, so we don’t see each other as often as I would like, but I appreciate that I am important enough to have a share in that precious time.
I had thought I was introverted because I often needed time by myself to think, and felt energized by the thinking. I realize now though, that I get more energy from external stimuli, particularly those that offer an interesting idea or problem. So if there is no thought that keeps my mind turning, I get itchy to go outside. I look for junk shops, flea markets, hardware stores, and people who discuss interesting things (I don’t look for people merely to socialize and small talk). I had not seen the distinction between shyness and introversion. I was shy, which is a social “introversion”, but ultimately I am extraverted.
Introverts, particularly those with Fi or a lower order Fe, need a lot of understanding and patience. It is only after meeting my INTJ that I have really learned this, and I find myself defending the extreme introverts’ needs against the common social expectations modeled on extraverted behavior. Some people understand you, introverts!
Love, ENTP.@2 hours ago
#introverts #introverstion #intj #infj #infp #intp #entp #shyness #mbti #myers briggs